We’ve been on video calls a lot more than usual this year, for work meetings, virtual hangouts with friends, and also date nights with our partners. Reddit user u/24black24 has also been interacting with her long-distance boyfriend online after work. But recently, they got into an argument over dressing up for video calls.
She narrated, “My boyfriend and I are now in an LDR and two days ago I got so upset because he told me that I wasn’t putting so much effort in meeting him online. He told me that he thinks I was unattractive without any makeup on and when he sensed that I was feeling upset about it (I was tearing up), he said that ALL girls are unattractive without makeup on. He then added that I needed to dress up whenever we would meet online.”
She added, “We have a time difference of 3 hours and I work during the day and would talk to him mostly around 9 or 10 pm when I am already ready to go to bed and have taken my makeup off and I’m already in my PJs. He hates my PJs too. He said that I should be wearing night gowns etc etc.”
“I mean, I would have listened to him and would have done all of it for him if he hadn’t said it in such a condescending way. I felt so small and so ugly afterwards. I tried to tell him that he was being rude and degrading but he just doesn’t get it and he thinks that it’s normal to say it in that manner. I really want to end it but at the same time, he has been in home quarantine for 10 days and hasn’t been out of the house. Maybe the isolation is getting to him? but is it a valid reason to be mean to anyone?”
Hearing her predicament, a lot of people (including men) remarked that she should reconsider her relationship as makeup is something people wear for themselves and not others.